(I've come to realize: such a difference between being alone and loneliness) Loneliness... Has it hit you yet?

I was talking to some friends the other day about what people we went to high school with are up to nowadays (only a few years later), and we started playing our favorite game of "Who got fat." We started getting into gossip about who is engaged and what type of job these people had landed. I realized later that I would never have imagined myself discussing people's employment and marital statuses while I still get googly-eyed when I see a lollipop at the store. I can't even remember when ...

It's hollow and dark grey. The tears are stuck. As if there is a clogging somewhere between my throat and eyes. There is a sense of urgency which I tend to ignore. My eyes check to make sure no one is watching. Then, I hide them as they slowly beg for some form of what I would be embarassed to call mercy. I am surprised to find the difference in what I once felt was loneliness and what I now feel is abandonment. I suppose it's the contrast by unconsciously having accepted an independen...

"I'm finding my way back to sanity again. But I don't really know what I'm gonna do when I get there." ~ Lifehouse (from Where I Want To Be) (Although I've started realizing that sanity is all relative and somewhat illusory)"

Here are some songs that I often listen to when I'm feeling kinda down, because they somehow seem to soothe me (I admit many on this list are kinda corny, but hey man...when you're down, corny seems happy): James Taylor - Fire and Rain AFI - Silver and Cold Avril Lavigne - Nobody's Home Evanescence - My Immortal Dido - Life For Rent Edwin McCain - I'll Be Mariah Carey - Take a Look at Me Now Lifehouse - Where I Want To Be Switchfoot - Innocent Again Sarah Mclachlan - Fallen R.E.M...

Ok, I am so pissed off right now. My roommate is incredibly dirty, extremely gross. She never ever ever cleans. I am the one who ends up cleaning the entire kitchen and entire bathroom on my own, she never vacuums, never throws out the garbage, never ties up the bag (but chooses to overfill it instead), never even cleans the counter after she eats (guess who does ALL that stuff?)... She doesn't even pay the bill until I say hey, pay the damn bill already! And to top it all off, I went ...

Ok, for real. What the hell. I just spent two hours helping someone do data entry just to help the guy out when I for sure did not need to, especially considering I hadn't eaten all day (I helped him until 8 p.m. without any food all day). On the way home I felt kinda good about it, thinking, hey I just did something really nice for someone. Maybe it'll help me out somehow. WRONG!! I walk into the door only to find a rejection from a medical school. Honestly, I really can't take th...

Background: So I'm taking this class about creativity and consciousness that basically integrates consciousness with music. Today we had a lady come in to play the harp and it was amazing. I think I have heard the harp before in movies and CD's, but it's a totally different experience in person. It's soft sounds were so soothing and somewhat mystical and they made me feel as though I was in a different place altogether. I felt like I was in the rainforest and was listening to steady d...

I'm a faithful watcher of the show, Grey's Anatomy. Great show, not quite accurate, but great show. So I started to wonder... Am I cut out to be a doctor if I really, really feel for people. I mean, I know I would make a good doctor. A great doctor. A different type of doctor. One who actually listens to her patients and lets them talk and listens to them and actually heals not only their body but also them to some extent. The kind of doctor that we are lacking. I think one of ...

I had written an article before about how some bananas "exploded" all over our kitchen and my lovely roommate left them for me to come back from my weekend at home and clean up. Well, after that, I just decided that I didn't want to go through this trouble anymore, and I would just clean the house on my own instead of asking for her help. It sucks, but it's better than dealing with crap from her. Anyways, so she doesn't have to clean anymore, and I already clean up after her every now an...

I went out during the after Thanksgiving Day Sale and bought a shower radio (mostly because everything else I wanted was already gone by the time I got there). I absolutely love music and love to sing in the shower so I have been meaning to buy a shower radio for quite some time. I was really excited about using it and my roommate thought I was crazy because I couldn't wait to take a shower to try out my new radio! Tried it once. Tried it twice. Tried it once more. Now, I don't know i...

I'd like to start off by saying that I love my roommate, I do, and I hate the fact that I complain about her, but it just upsets me that she just acts so weird...and sometimes I wonder if she knows what the word, "friend" means. My latest discovery is that I absolutely can't go to the bar, or probably even out to lunch or perhaps even public, with just my roommate alone. We went out the other night, and first of all, it was hard enough to ask her to look at me when I was trying to talk to...

There are some things I have recently discovered I am randomly and unhealthily addicted to: - Grey's Anatomy - Lifehouse music - thinking about making fries in the oven and then not doing it - staying up wayyy too late - trying to neutralize my karma by not making mean comments about people...even fake people like celebs (and by neutralize I mean following all comments with, I bet he/she is a very nice person) - greeting people with awkward, "ghetto lingo" - wondering if the more "fa...

Time and time again I've found that the thing that hurts me the most is that I feel like I have a one-way relationship with most people. I listen to them, help them, care for them. In return, I get a lot of "laters." I am fairly closed to begin with. I have a hard time telling people problems or telling them personal things about myself. The times I have tried, I have been unsuccessful in that I have received a whole lot of "I don't know what to say" or "Awee...I'm sorry" or "Don't worry...