You know how you know those people that you kind of secretly despise because they are just all-around good at everything? It just doesn't make sense how they can know how to do just about everything and always come out at the top and yet still seem like good people? I'm not going to say that that used to be me, but at least my friends used to think so.
I remember in High School, I used to have friends tell me all the time that they kind of hated me because I was "perfect." I know they didn't really mean that, and that I had at least a thousand flaws I could have lived without, but really, I have to admit, that I wasn't particularly terrible at anything. Most things, even if I hadn't tried it before, I could pick up fairly quickly. I was good at school, I could play instruments, I could sing, I could do art, I could play sports, I was social, I could play video games, I could do puzzles, I knew about all the latest music and movies, I was organized, I could do some good cooking, etc.
Sometime during high school, I realized I might have been slightly intense about things, whether I let others know it or not, and started learning how to kick back and relax. In college, I thought that was one of the most amazing qualities I had ever acquired...how to just be really chill. Now I'm beginning to hate this quality about myself at times. Suddenly, I've been finding that I can't be amazing at anything anymore. I am not doing exceptionally well in school, I don't excel at sports, I don't know the latest news, I no longer practice any instruments or sing, I'm not as organized and although I'm still pretty social, I definitely don't feel like everyone likes me. I'm honestly really starting to wonder what went wrong?
I've been trying to work on some of these things by simply being more focused but it hasn't seemed to work and it's frustrating now! How did I go from picking up on things so easily to having trouble with the things I used to be good at? Basically, I feel like nowadays, I just suck at life. This is not a pleasant feeling.