Just trying to get the most out of life by figuring it out
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November 11, 2005 by So Many Questions
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November 9, 2005 by So Many Questions
Background: So I'm taking this class about creativity and consciousness that basically integrates consciousness with music.

Today we had a lady come in to play the harp and it was amazing. I think I have heard the harp before in movies and CD's, but it's a totally different experience in person. It's soft sounds were so soothing and somewhat mystical and they made me feel as though I was in a different place altogether. I felt like I was in the rainforest and was listening to steady drop...
November 7, 2005 by So Many Questions
Ok, for real. What the hell. I just spent two hours helping someone do data entry just to help the guy out when I for sure did not need to, especially considering I hadn't eaten all day (I helped him until 8 p.m. without any food all day). On the way home I felt kinda good about it, thinking, hey I just did something really nice for someone. Maybe it'll help me out somehow. WRONG!! I walk into the door only to find a rejection from a medical school.

Honestly, I really can't take this ...
November 6, 2005 by So Many Questions
Ok, I am so pissed off right now. My roommate is incredibly dirty, extremely gross. She never ever ever cleans. I am the one who ends up cleaning the entire kitchen and entire bathroom on my own, she never vacuums, never throws out the garbage, never ties up the bag (but chooses to overfill it instead), never even cleans the counter after she eats (guess who does ALL that stuff?)... She doesn't even pay the bill until I say hey, pay the damn bill already!
And to top it all off, I went hom...
October 29, 2005 by So Many Questions
"I'm finding my way back to sanity again. But I don't really know what I'm gonna do when I get there."
~ Lifehouse (from Where I Want To Be)

(Although I've started realizing that sanity is all relative and somewhat illusory)"
May 31, 2005 by So Many Questions
I was talking to some friends the other day about what people we went to high school with are up to nowadays (only a few years later), and we started playing our favorite game of "Who got fat." We started getting into gossip about who is engaged and what type of job these people had landed. I realized later that I would never have imagined myself discussing people's employment and marital statuses while I still get googly-eyed when I see a lollipop at the store. I can't even remember when we ...
December 2, 2006 by So Many Questions
You know how you talk to some people and just can't help but crack up at everything that comes out of their mouth, whereas other people will repeat exactly what the first person said, and you can barely crack a smile? Obviously this has a lot to do with the art of story-telling. This is why some people are born to be comedians and other people...not so much. This is also true of something serious. When some people tell a story, everyone at the table is all-ears, but this is not true for ever...
November 17, 2006 by So Many Questions
I just realized that one of the hardest things in life is to learn to let go. I'm sure this is not some type of epiphany but it kind of is to me because I realize it is the stem of almost allll my problems. I have definitely NEVER mastered this phenomenon and have never come close to being able to figure out how to even begin. It seems so much easier to just push things into the back of your mind or ignore them until something changes and you can just kinda move on because your attention isn...
February 16, 2006 by So Many Questions
Time and time again I've found that the thing that hurts me the most is that I feel like I have a one-way relationship with most people. I listen to them, help them, care for them. In return, I get a lot of "laters." I am fairly closed to begin with. I have a hard time telling people problems or telling them personal things about myself. The times I have tried, I have been unsuccessful in that I have received a whole lot of "I don't know what to say" or "Awee...I'm sorry" or "Don't worry ab...
December 4, 2005 by So Many Questions
I had written an article before about how some bananas "exploded" all over our kitchen and my lovely roommate left them for me to come back from my weekend at home and clean up. Well, after that, I just decided that I didn't want to go through this trouble anymore, and I would just clean the house on my own instead of asking for her help. It sucks, but it's better than dealing with crap from her.

Anyways, so she doesn't have to clean anymore, and I already clean up after her every now and t...
November 2, 2005 by So Many Questions
Here are some songs that I often listen to when I'm feeling kinda down, because they somehow seem to soothe me (I admit many on this list are kinda corny, but hey man...when you're down, corny seems happy):

James Taylor - Fire and Rain
AFI - Silver and Cold
Avril Lavigne - Nobody's Home
Evanescence - My Immortal
Dido - Life For Rent
Edwin McCain - I'll Be
Mariah Carey - Take a Look at Me Now
Lifehouse - Where I Want To Be
Switchfoot - Innocent Again
Sarah Mclachlan - Fallen
R.E.M. -...
October 27, 2005 by So Many Questions
It's hollow and dark grey. The tears are stuck. As if there is a clogging somewhere between my throat and eyes. There is a sense of urgency which I tend to ignore. My eyes check to make sure no one is watching. Then, I hide them as they slowly beg for some form of what I would be embarassed to call mercy. I am surprised to find the difference in what I once felt was loneliness and what I now feel is abandonment. I suppose it's the contrast by unconsciously having accepted an independent l...
March 13, 2005 by So Many Questions
(I've come to realize: such a difference between being alone and loneliness)

Loneliness...
Has it hit you yet?