Letting Go

Published on November 17, 2006 By So Many Questions In Blogging

I just realized that one of the hardest things in life is to learn to let go. I'm sure this is not some type of epiphany but it kind of is to me because I realize it is the stem of almost allll my problems. I have definitely NEVER mastered this phenomenon and have never come close to being able to figure out how to even begin. It seems so much easier to just push things into the back of your mind or ignore them until something changes and you can just kinda move on because your attention isn't brought back there a lot.

This is definitely the case for guys. The only time I know how to forget about a guy is when there is another one I find myself really caring about. This cycle, however, is not a particularly good one.
This is the case for family. I've tried to ignore all the family issues for so long now that I wouldn't even know how to begin to let it surface consciously into my mind. I can't even imagine how to let go of all the crap that I still think of from my childhood.
Even if friends piss me off a lot, I find myself being the one that cares. I am the one who can't let go of the fact that we are in a buttle.
When I was leaving college, I found myself desperate to hold on because I could not fathom leaving that place.

Every step of the way, that's what it is. How can people so easily just let go of things? It almost seems like they can't possibly care that much...is it wrong to care a lot? How do you let go if you just care a lot?

Comments

Locamama

on Nov 17, 2006

We're two of a kind. I am exactly the same way. It amazes me the people who can just get a divorce and move on and seem to not even look back. I'm holding on with everything I have even though rationally I think I should just face facts and move on. That's just not how I'm made.

Zoologist03

on Nov 18, 2006

I don't let my emotions take control...I can be very callous and very cold if the occasion calls for it. Also, I haven't cried in over 2 years...I'm quite sure that's not healthy, but I can't bring myself to do it....I can literally try and nothing happens.

Is holding on bad? No...well, only in cases when you NEED to move on, like when a relationship is broken up. Take some time, feel the pain if that's your thing, and then focus on moving ahead. Sounds easy, and it really is for some people, myself included. Normal people will hang up on something for a bit and overly sensitive people hold on to those feelings for too long. You have to know when to suck it up, for lack of a better way to say it.

~Zoo

Locamama

on Nov 18, 2006

I think that is just a man thing. We all say we want sensitive men but when we see one who really is sensitive, we want them to be more manly. It's a conundrum.

So Many Questions

on Nov 20, 2006

Locamama,
I know how you feel. Funny thing is, like you're saying, it's not that you aren't thinking logically or you don't realize something. It's more like you know it completely, but just can't seem to have it sink in. Why is that supposed to be considered so weak though?

Zoo,
Thanks for the response. That's just it though. I feel like some people (ahem, me) don't know how to just suck it up and move on. There's always something kinda still lingering so that it's not that you walk around moping or thinking about something every moment, but you have to pretend you moved on and basically lie to yourself, cept it doesn't quite work.
I know plenty of other guys that haven't cried in a really long time. I think it's just that when it really needs to come out, it will. Or maybe you deal with it in a different way. I don't think there's anything wrong with that so long as you don't just choose to ignore issues.

So I'm wondering what you guys think about hope? I feel like that's the thing that most often keeps me attached and hanging on. If there's no hope, you can face it and move on, but as soon as hope is involved there's always the potentiality, right? And how can hope be such a miserable thing?

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