Just trying to get the most out of life by figuring it out
You know what I'm talkin bout
Published on September 8, 2008 By So Many Questions In Dating

I work hard to try & be positive in life. I've def gotten better at it over the past few years than I ever had been. I finally learned that I should truly be living life for me & that I give people the ability to make me feel bad about myself. I tried to cut out most of the people that made me feel crappy or that were undependable by lacking emotion toward them. It's worked well for the most part and I have definitely learned how much better of a person I am than I ever knew.

There comes a time every now & then though, where even though I value myself truly, I can't help but feel kinda down & lonely. I dislike coming home from work on a daily basis & feeling like there is no one there for me. I am content going about my usual day, but routine is sure to get boring eventually. I want someone to share something with. I've tried too. It's not that I haven't attempted a shot at relationships. But for some reason it seems every time, either things don't go anywhere, the guy bails out for no reason or I end up being too picky and not willing to settle for anything less than butterflies. It always leaves me feeling like it's all a lost cause.

I know everyone says to be patient. And I have been. Too patient, in fact. But emotions don't understand time, and frustration & loneliness don't go away just because I can pretend they do.

How do you get around this?

on Sep 09, 2008

I don't think you can get around it.  I think it is something you have to go through, straight down the middle to the other side.

That doesn't help does it?

I'm sorry you are feeling lonely.  Do you have any good girlfriends?  Think about getting a room mate?


I hope someone spectacular comes along to share your life with...SOON!

on Sep 09, 2008

I don't think anyone can give you a straight answer to your question. Once upon a time, I too, was very lonely and found it hard to find companionship. I also went thru issues with those who were willing to take a chance with me, never really lasted that long in most cases. Today I find myself in a relationship where duck tape seems to be the choice of patching up all our issues. The truth is that while we are both trying to make it work, I am not too sure it will go as I would like it too. But I, at least, want to be sure about it before making the big decision if it comes to that. After all, there are children involved in the matter as well.

One thing I have learned thru out the years is that while I hated being alone (I could not stand the idea of not having someone to share some of my moments in life with), being alone at times is actually good for the soul. It allows it to settle back down (like sand in calm waters) after a week or more of agitated stress and hard work. I don't have many friends, and while it did seem to make my life a somewhat lonely and boring one, I have enjoyed the fact that I have avoided many issues related to having friends (like those I see my wife go thru with those she calls friends, which to me are more like acquantances) so in the end being a bit lonely has not been all that bad to me.

All I can say is basically the same thing many others have already told you. Patience. Rushing into something just because you don't want to wait any longer can blind you into something you may regret later. Also, being picky is not a bad thing, after all, you are the one who has to be with them, right? But don't be too picky though, you never know if my right (or at least close to being Mr Right) might come by and you miss him because of something you were too picky about (say a tatoo, hair a bit too long or the car he drives, just examples).