Just trying to get the most out of life by figuring it out
all the good ones!...advice?
Published on September 4, 2006 By So Many Questions In Personal Relationships
What I quickly learned during my first week of graduate school is that at this point, practically everyone is either hitched, soon to be hitched or in a long-term relationship. Problem: I'm not. Not that I have a problem with being single at all. What I do have a problem with is being attracted to non-single people.

I quickly formed a judgement to realize that the chances of me being attracted to someone in my class was highly doubtful, especially one of the single guys. I wasn't completely wrong because I did find myself attracted to someone...who happened to be in a 1.5 year relationship. I'm not completely at fault though: he quickly revealed to me that he wasn't sure it was going to work out with his gf during school (esp cuz they live an hour away). Of course, spend a little more time with a good guy...kabaam! there's a crush.

So issue at hand is not that it's just a crush on an attached guy. Issue is more that he seems to exhibit a clear mutual attraction. (for instance, told me I have a nice smile, said he was glad to be spending time with me, asked me to teach him how to cook). You can't take this the wrong way because he would definitely not cheat on his gf and technically, he's not doing anything wrong at this point. However, it seems obvious that at times, he's not concentrating on his gf at all. At the same time, it seems he has days when this attraction kind of subsides (after talking to his gf perhaps?). Don't start hating me now, because I'm not trying to be a homewrecker and would not try breaking them up. But I do have a huge crush on him and can't say I will be likely to feel this way about anyone else I am in contact with (generally-speaking).

Any tips from people about how you think this might go or what I might wanna do? (aside from of course, get over the crush)

on Sep 04, 2006
I'm in the same situation. At my school, while an undergrad uni, over half the student population is hitched. Makes the odds pretty sickly stacked against you.

As for what to do? If he really, really likes you, he'll break up with her and there you go. If not . . . hate to say it, but you're SOL.

Hope you find a goody soon. And hope I do, too.
on Sep 04, 2006
He has problem because his gf lives an hour away? Good grief. What a wimp. Some people live in the same city and it takes an hour to get across town.

The guy is a loser if the hour away is an issue for him. If you're looking for a relationship, do you want it to be with someone who can't commit to an hour?

on Sep 04, 2006
LOL, Momijiki is spot on.