Just trying to get the most out of life by figuring it out
And I'm blaming society for it
Published on February 20, 2009 By So Many Questions In Dating

My friends are wonderful. And extremely annoying. I'm realizing they're a lot like most other single women over the age of 24. They are on their way to success, hold pride in their life, are confident and attractive, not needy --and yet can't figure out why they don't have a man beside them. They don't necessarily need a man to feel like they are complete (or at least not all of them do) but any person will admit that it feels good to be in a relationship and have someone there. Still, it can be very frustrating to see my friends eye men like they are pieces of chocolate and that every single one must be fought over. ANY guy that crosses their path that is remotely attractive, is automatically being secretly competed over by at least 3 women at a time. If 1 tries to openly claim her interest, the other women secretly communicate with the guy whether thru flirty eyes at the bar or via facebook messages that are somehow "innocent" because he started it. Not to mention that if the guy does show interest in 1 of them, the others secretly (or openly) freak out because they cannot understand how he was interested in HER and not ME. Also not to mention that they can be 25 and he can be 37 and they may have met him for a total of 20 min and yet somehow, something about being or not being with this man will turn into a catastrophe.

Honestly, it's kind of pathetic.

I don't know if it is for lack of decent men around, or for lack of time, or for lack of patience or lack of standards but I feel like so many women nowadays will just take what they can get in the moment. They are ok with SOME guy who is at least somewhat attractive and then date him and then make a huge deal out of how he is not the right one for them and how he does this and that wrong and then whine about it. I feel like the art of friendship with a man or being interested in a guy before you want to date/hook up with him is just lost. I understand that, "I'll never get a second chance to meet another decent guy so you better grab this someone" feeling but I miss the 8th grade mentality of having a huge crush on the guy that sits next to you in class because you know himand and he's hilarious.

It's mean but I sometimes find people my age to be pathetic as a whole. I have oftentimes told myself that any guy who would be interested in any of them (in regards to my friend) is not the guy for me because I am not one to try and jump on any guy. I have standards. I have a conscience. I have self-respect. And I am picky.

I think it's upsetting that society makes women feel like they need to have a wonderful career and find a perfect man by the time they're 28. Perhaps dating every guy will make one eventually find the right one before someone else sweeps him away, but I am just not willing to give guys this much credit until he proves he's worth it.

Anyways, I welcome comments. Thanks for reading.


Comments
on Feb 20, 2009

Wow, at the ripe old age of 24 they don't have a second to spare!

on Feb 20, 2009

it's been (and continues to be) my incredibly good fortune to have six sisters in addition to which i've enjoyed far more time in the company of women than men.  seems to me that from early childhood on, females are constantly subjected to inexcusable and inhumane manipulation and exploitation by whatever society or culture into which they're born. worst case, it's brutal and physical; there really is no "best case".  

unlike most of the planet, our progressive civilized world's intention isn't churning out not-quite-slave physical laborers, but compliant socially approved and acceptable automotons nonetheless.

it's all done so effectively nearly all young women here spend nearly all of their childhood, teens and early 20s doing, saying, feeling and believing all the crap they've been force fed. its only when they reach their late 20s and early thirties that most finally begin to realize they've been badly duped and used. 

some get angry...some get even...some get scared and cling harder to the lies with which they've learned to live.

it appears as if you and your friends may be a few years shy of escaping all of that.  hopefully they'll past quickly.

while i don't mean to sound harsh--and i hope i've made it clear none of this is your fault--with rare exception, women under the age of about 35 may be great decorations but that's about it.

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