The title basically sums it up.

I have a good life, I know that. I am blessed with a good family, good health, a roof over my head, I'm in grad school for the path I've always wanted to pursue, I've got ambition, and most importantly a strong curiosity for life. I'm a laid-back, chill, ambitious, fun, attractive person, but I'm not like most people. I get along with people fine but sometimes have a hard time really connecting because I tend to think on a different level. I tend to think a lot about life & I'm just at the point where I feel like there has to be more to life than this. Everything just feels so temporary & fake and I need something that is REAL. I need something that makes life seem worth living right now. Sure, I know I can find something in my life & convince myself that this is obviously important enough so that life is more than worth it, but I need something that FEELS ALIVE.

A lot of this stems from yesterday. The guy I was dating & I broke up. I knew it wasn't going anywhere but it still kind of upset me a little because at least hanging out with him was something I would get excited about. Now, my life consists almost exclusively of sitting in a chair for 18 out of 24 hours and studying to do really well on my upcoming future-determining exam. I know I should be focused on that, but it's kind of hard to do when I'm not even excited about life anymore. I need something that makes me feel like I'm not just going through the motions. I need something that doesn't make me feel like "hey, I'm dating this guy who's great & I like being with him but I don't really care about him" (Translated: I'm living this life that's fine but I don't seem to feel alive or care that I am"). 

I'm such a firm believer in life & such a lover of life that I NEED something that makes me feel like there's more to it. And that it's ok to believe that things in life ARE REAL!