I know people can come up with an argument for pretty much anything as being evolutionarily adopted, but really some emotions we can do without. Yeah, yeah, without fear, you wouldn't necessarily kick in that "fight or flight" response that tells you that you're in danger, but I'm considering a less physiological approach. I just don't understand how being afraid is helping us through life. You're supposed to learn from your mistakes and fear is supposed to help you do that? Well, I'm sure we've all made mistakes and then just started fearing them and the only reason we keep making them now is because we fear them! In instance, I've finally come to realize that I am indeed a fairly social person. I used to make quite an immemorable first impression on people, but I think I've bettered myself in this aspect quite a bit now. However, for some reason I still become afraid of sounding awkward at times long after I've established a relationship with someone. In effect, I think about it and think I'm seeming awkward which ultimately makes me seem awkward and then I just get confused as to how someone who is so not awkward keeps ending up having such Larry David moments (except a lot less funny)! See...no fear, no awkwardness...no problem, right?
And then of course it comes down to all other aspects of our lives. I have recently come to realize that so much of the...let's say, less content parts of my life, can really boil down to certain fears, whether conscious or not. I definitely know I have some form of commitment phobia. What the hell is wrong with a girl who can't help but totally care so deeply for someone else and become so attached to them yet be scared as hell (excuse the french) of getting too close, (I don't know...in fear that they will think I'm getting too attached or that I care more than they do, which may be the truth...so basically I fear the truth?). I've also recently realized that I have immense issues showing my emotions. When I talk about how much turmoil I'm in, I always tend to sneak in some giggles, so that it can be taken light-heartedly...(you probably don't wanna see me at a a funeral)...even when it's killing me inside! Some kind of fear, I'm sure. Perhaps it's some form of defense mechanisms that we tend towards, but really, I think I've had enough. I think living this way is a lie. So, uh, how is this fear helping?
Funny thing is I do believe all emotions ultimately arise from one of two base emotions: love and well...fear. Although this may seem to be quite paradoxical to my aforementioned pointlessness of fear, it just makes sense. Jealousy (fear you're not as good as someone else), sadness (fear that something isn't going right and you don't know how to fix it), hate, anger, disgust, etc. (vs. empathy, caring, happiness, laughter, peace, etc.). But who needs all those other feelings anyways?
I really do think that if we could all learn to live each day eliminating a little fear in our lives, we could be astounded to discover how amazing certain aspects of our lives are. Problem, of course, is how to make that happen. Shit, I'm even kinda afraid of posting this blog!
Any insight?